Dancing Buttacupp

I know I should not allow ephemereal things bother me. But in the end, I am human. I do get hurt.

It’s funny in the working world you do your best to deliver your KPIs. However, if your boss has a fixed perception about you, nothing good you do will ever change that. Even though your deliverables relative to your colleagues might be two or threefold, nobody really cares. Their sole concern is that you deliver each and every one, and if you do above and beyond, you will be rewarded. The question is, how do you measure above and beyond? What if a colleague A has 10 deliverables while B has 15? If A does 2 extra and B doesn’t, is it fair to deny B a reward? Or If A does 2 extra, and B does 1, how do you reward them?

It also hurts knowing that among the experienced professionals you’re working with, you are the freshest, and that by itself is a disadvantage. People don’t fight for your performance because you’re new, even when you win accolades for your company, and get special recommendations from various quarters. None of those matter.

So what does?

TO be honest, I discovered something this week that really demoralized my working spirit. All this while , I come into the office excited to execute and solve problems, and learn new things everyday. But knowing that politics take precedence over your quality of work baffles me, and forces me to re-evaluate whether I would still want to remain under a leadership that does not recognize or appreciate good work.

I have read in an article that good employees leave an organization not due to dismal benefits, but more because of the leadership style.

On top of that, another blow came to me in my personal life. I have to re-evaluate whether the past should be revisited, whether it is worth all the trouble. Somehow, I kinda know the answer. It’s just that I am confused at the reason why this episode repeats itself for the 3rd time. What sign is He trying to send me?

To secure the final blow of the worst week of my life, my car broke down…again. AS I was driving home that night, suddenly this fluid hit my windshield. I thought the passing lorries spilled something so I decided to wash it away using my water and wipers.

BAd idea.

I couldn’t see the road as the windshield became blurred. I literally had to stick my head out of my right window and stop at the nearest station.

Naturally, I thought it was a spill from another vehicle and started washing my windshield on my own. Then, we I realized it was oil on my screen, I inspected the whole front body of my car.

The whole front portion was covered in oil.

On the floor, oil and other fluids’ were creating a pool of dark mess.

Then I realized it was definitely MY car that caused the spill.

Overall, I need to start thinking of where I want to go and what I want to do. If I can try and resolve the first portion, then I’ll try. But moving forward if I’m told that age and experience will determine my performance ranking instead of actual work, then it is definitely a clear sign, and definitely I know what I have to do.

I pray that He gives me wisdom, and strength, because sometimes…just that few minutes.. it just doesn’t seem worth it.

-Asma wan signing off-

Had the opportunity to visit Singapore twice for business purposes. In my brief stay, I make sure I observe and gain as much understanding of the Lion City as much as I can.

Upon arrival and into the taxi cab, I notice how differently the cabs are managed. Cabs are equipped with credit card readers, and receipt machines for those who need to claim transportation. Wow. Hey, I admit I am JAKUN.

On the road, I was observing the roads. The cars. The signboards. The roads are wide, at least 4 lanes on each side. The cars though not as many in Malaysia due to steep road tax, insurance, parking charges, and toll, do not speed recklessly or terrorize other road users as often seen in Malaysia. Signboars are placed strategically with at least 300 meters from the exit/junction, not covered by trees, and are lighted at night. Seriously! I understood also that speeding and road accidents aren’t common ‘cos the governing administration informs the public of the offence and consequences. For example, big signboards are placed to alert drivers that cameras are placed at every possible junction, highway, etc. Hence, road users have no choice but to drive within the speed limit, or pay a hefty fine. Nice.

For a small nation, they take pride in their greens cos boy is she GREEN. You’d think Malaysia who has luscious rain forests would spare some trees in the city center and residential areas…nope. Big sidewalks are suitable for pedestrians, and at 9am the weather isn’t even hot or humid (trees!). I looked at how big the drains are, and how well planned the sewage system is (no flash floods). However, I could not resist a chuckle when I saw litter in some of the drains. They weren’t an eyesore by Malaysian standars or wreaked any foul smell. But I expected Singapore to be litter-free (which isn’t fair haha).

Public transport connects almost all corners of Singapore and even their many islands. Granted, she is VERY small (it takes the 30-40 mins to drive from one corner to the next, depending on your speed and traffic. Goes to show how geographically small she is).

The people? You’re gonna kill me but they’re really friendly and approachable. Heck, I’m not really particular about food but they really are particular about what I eat and ensure I get the best HALAL food! Wowser. You can refute by saying my sample size might not reflect Singaporeans accurately. Ok I admit, I deal with the business people for work and the people at the stores and shopping complexes. Never once did I get a frowning sales person, nor did they stalk me or follow me around!

They even have a cool program for teenagers that encourages high-school debates. These debates are aired live on television, fresh topics, young and talented judges that comprise of parliament members, experienced debaters, etc. Really enjoyable.

By and large, they are really good planners. Though they are not endowed with rich natural resources like Malaysia and Indonesia, they educated their people, and broadened their minds. Hence you see that the Sings are quite good at providing service. No wonder they are making it as mainly a service industry. Their people are more open-minded, slightly more tolerant, and definitely hardworking.

Then, which part of them is KIASU? Or maybe I was just fortunate to have met the good Singaporeans

Whomever or whatever, there is always something good we can learn and emulate from others.

-Asma Wan signing off-